On this night, I met up with a lot of old friends from high school and whatnot. Many I had not seen in a long time seeing as I didn't attend my 10 year high school reunion this year (yes, I feel old, *le sigh*). Anyway, at one point someone asked me what I was doing these days.
"Well, just living life, raising kids. I own my own small business. Oh, and I'm a writer."
I actually said that. And it felt weird.
The people who know me well know I've always been a writer, but I've always been scared to label myself as such to others. And his immediate question of, "Done anything I might know?" is the exact reason for my fear. The question is a perfectly polite and unoffensive one, of course. Its just I hate having to answer with, "Oh, no no no no. I'm so not published yet." Because then I can just see him thinking, "Oh, so she's not really a real writer." Of course, this could all be in my head and he could actually be thinking, "Where is that waitress? I need another drink."
On the other hand, it felt very freeing to own up to it. To say it and be proud of it. Plus, I feel like by actually saying it out loud to a not-quite-stranger, I made a promise to myself and the universe. I put it out there and now I have to live up to it.
So maybe saying something doesn't exactly make it so, maybe saying it is one of the first steps in making it so.