On this night, I met up with a lot of old friends from high school and whatnot. Many I had not seen in a long time seeing as I didn't attend my 10 year high school reunion this year (yes, I feel old, *le sigh*). Anyway, at one point someone asked me what I was doing these days.
"Well, just living life, raising kids. I own my own small business. Oh, and I'm a writer."
I actually said that. And it felt weird.
The people who know me well know I've always been a writer, but I've always been scared to label myself as such to others. And his immediate question of, "Done anything I might know?" is the exact reason for my fear. The question is a perfectly polite and unoffensive one, of course. Its just I hate having to answer with, "Oh, no no no no. I'm so not published yet." Because then I can just see him thinking, "Oh, so she's not really a real writer." Of course, this could all be in my head and he could actually be thinking, "Where is that waitress? I need another drink."
On the other hand, it felt very freeing to own up to it. To say it and be proud of it. Plus, I feel like by actually saying it out loud to a not-quite-stranger, I made a promise to myself and the universe. I put it out there and now I have to live up to it.
So maybe saying something doesn't exactly make it so, maybe saying it is one of the first steps in making it so.
Friday, December 24, 2010
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